John was 12 going on 13 when he was outed to his parents by his school. Raised in a country where homophobia tracts it claws daily and being the middle child in a Christian family, he knew what had happened. “I woke up every night for about three weeks to engage in intensive prayer and bathing in anointing oil and chanting I am not this sickness,” John, 19 tells me. It was never an option for him as he was forced to participate in this exorcism.
In Nigeria, same-sex attraction is usually seen as some sort of demonic possession. It is illegal across the 36 states and punishable by death in some.
I’ve always heard about religiously mediated sexual orientation change happening in Africa and each time more than the previous, reading about such experiences is always hurtful. Religiously mediated sexual orientation change is commonly known as conversion therapy, but common sense and science would tell us that it is not conversion neither is it therapy.
Religiously mediated sexual orientation change is the term most often attributed to practices which seek to change, suppress, or divert the sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression of people who do not fit the presumed norm of cis-gender heterosexuality. It is a category under conversion therapy which in itself is based on junk science and religious extremism.
Also known as reparation therapy, this is one of the biggest barriers to the emancipation of the LGBTQ+ community in Africa. The idea of sexual orientation change was promoted heavily in African nations by western conservative missionaries who had the power to sway Africans. The persistence of conversion therapy is directly tied to societal beliefs about LGBTQ+ individuals and the degree to which our lives are accepted and embraced within families, faiths, and societies at large.
In truth, these evangelicals still come to Africa to push the agenda that through religious counseling, physical violence, forced fasting and exorcism, a person’s innate sexual orientation can somehow be altered or modified. The plea to “help gays escape” homosexuality is perhaps the most commonly repeated mantra across the African continent. As the religious right loses ground in fights against LGBTQ+ people in Europe, North America and Australia, including on same-sex marriage equality, they have turned increasingly to African countries where they believe their agenda will resonate.
The first time I saw a religiously mediated sexual orientation change take place was in ‘Hell or High Water’ — a short film made by The Initiative For Equal Rights (TIERs); a non-governmental organization that works towards making sure every human’s rights are protected no matter ones status, identity, orientation or affiliation. The scene played out as when Enyinna Nwigwe’s character, Pastor Gbolahan was having a flashback after being caught with his same sex lover. In the flashback, a young teenage boy was crying at night while writing repeatedly on a notepad “I will not do it again.”
Another scene showed the same young boy by the shores, late at night, surrounded by dimly lit candles. The boy was holding a miniature coal pot of some sort while been whipped with dried palm fronds by a pastor wearing a white garment. That scenario could be said to be a deliverance session held to exorcise whatever “demon” was making the boy have attractions towards the same sex, but what I saw was violence and the total disregard of human rights. Sadly, that is the reality of quite a number of young queer people in Nigeria.
Most young queer teenagers outed in Nigeria are always forced to undergo religiously mediated sexual orientation change. Parents believe at that age, they are still young and have the highest chance of “overcoming” it. The psychologically and physically violent rituals, such as exorcisms, beatings while being prayed over and rituals to beat the demon out always leave the victims scarred physically and emotionally. They are never given any option as participation is a must. This was the case for Abraham, another victim I spoke to. Abraham was also outed by his school to his parents at 15. He was screamed at, talked down on and insulted a lot. But that was only the beginning of the trauma for him.
“It was straight up deliverance. My dad is a pastor, so he and my mum did deliverance for me in the house before taking me to church for another deliverance. I was never out of their sight after that.” Abraham says. “I was emotionally sick. I was physically sick. I was really sick, and on Sunday, they made me go to church. I didn’t have an option. I didn’t have a say because basically I had done something bad and I had wasted their money. That was basically what they cared about at the moment.”
Kemi, a female victim I spoke with had similar experiences as well. It started with a prophecy by a pastor about her “apparent lesbianism.” She knew the prophecy was a hoax and that her mother had put the pastor up to it because “she had her suspicions and probably thought going the Christian route would make things easier.”
“When I got home that day, she called him up and decided to hold a session of prayers.” Kemi says to me. “It was sick. I stood in the middle while they tried to cast the demon out. I was terrified because I saw the look on my mum’s face and how much she wanted this “thing” gone. So I had to pretend that it was gone. Pretend like I was fine… Cured.”
When asked if she was still affected by what she went through, Kemi said, “With everything that has happened, slowly I started to despise God for making me this flawed person. I try not to have this internalized homophobia but I can’t help myself because I know that no matter how much I pray, no matter what I do, I can’t change this person that I am. And I want to love myself but its hard to do that when the entire world would hate you if they knew just who you truly are.”
The threats of religiously mediated sexual orientation change is beyond psychological and emotional distress. The mental trauma from such experiences has led some LGBTQ+ individuals to attempt suicide because their protective barriers had been worn down as a result of what they had to go through, the pain they had to endure. This is the circumstance John found himself in. The trauma of what they went through continues to hunt and hurt them psychologically & emotionally till this present day.
“I remember trying to kill myself when I was 12. Tried tear my wrist with a nail. My mom told me all I’ll ever be good is doing rubbish like this. That killed my self esteem of course. My dad physically punched me on the wall with my mom in the background shouting for him to stop as she sat down there, like she wasn’t the one that poured the fuel in the fire.” John said toward the end of our discussion. On whether or not the experience still affects him, he said “My anxiety and panic attacks are triggered by them. I wasn’t able to take control of things happening around me and always looked for someone to please so they can say they’re proud of me in some way, fill the hole my parents created.”
*The names of the victims have been changed to protect their identities.*