Fashion model, Jo Pearl, recently came out to announce via two Instagram posts that she is Burna Boy’s side chick, and that has been for two years. In her words, Burna Boy promised to give her “children and marriage.” Since then, this subject has become one of the most discussed on the streets of the internet. It has even inspired more people to speak about their experiences as a side chick.
While most of the people who have worn this shoe are female, some men have also had their share. People do not get into relationships to become their partner’s second choice, so when they know their true standing, it comes as a rude, unexpected discovery. It takes time to properly heal, especially for those who are heavily invested emotionally. Believe us, it hurts to know that your partner is a cheat but it ascends a higher degree when you are just the ‘fling’. One lady claims that she nearly became ‘mental’.
We have been following the discussions people are holding around this issue and this is what inspired us to speak to four Nigerians who told us how they discovered they were their partner’s least preferred option, how they felt and how this discovery is shaping their future relationships.
Ajoke | Sex: Female
My ex, had this female friend that was always around him, he even brought her to my hostel. I complained about this and he made me feel like the insecure one. He would tell me they are just friends and as I would find out, he told the girl the same tale.
One day, he traveled and I had no means of reaching him so I decided to look for the girl’s hostel and ask if she had been hearing from him. She answered in the affirmative and even told me “their phone conversations was fun.” That prompted me to ask if anything was going on between them and she said they were lovers, in fact, she accepted to be his girlfriend because she likes me, and if I could be his friend it means that he’s probably a good person.
Then I let her know that he was also dating me. She was shocked. Sha, we began to unpack our experiences with each other. Before then, I had never raised my voice at any man but I cursed him so hard on phone. Since then, I’ve become good friends with the girl
Dolapo | Sex: Female
Omo! We were in love and everything appeared to be going on well. So there was this day we did a Snapchat video and I posted on it on his snap. That’s how he vexed oo. He started shouting at me which really shocked me.
Then he was making this phone call and he started begging a lady on phone. He told her I was “just his friend and we were only playing truth or dare.” He even went as far as asking me to help convince the lady.
I just went out, got drunk, and went back to the hostel, told him to come and I insulted him bajebaje. Recently he told me to please come back to his life, telling me that he’s single. The following week, bro did a birthday party for his main girlfriend. I was surprised at his level of crase. It was real, omo. And he finna told me he doesn’t really like her like that. But since her dad died, he wants to be there for her as a father figure but the game wey cut don cut.
Now, with my relationships, I try to ascertain if he’s single or had a problem with his girlfriend. I try to be sure before even falling in love
Qazeem | Sex: male
I was in the same assignment group with this lady when I was in part 4. She was one of those brainy girls in accounting while I was in Business Admin. We got talking and to cut it short we started seeing but she didn’t tell me she had someone who was serving in the east of the country.
One day she came to sleep over and her main guy called. She started lying about her whereabouts and that’s when I knew something wasn’t right. I confronted her and she opened up to me that she had a boyfriend who was serving but she discovered her guy was cheating on her and I came just at the right time and that she found solace in being with me. Imagine that she’s been using me to get back at her boyfriend.
I felt really horrible for dating another man’s girl on the one hand, and on the other hand, I felt like I was cheated on. It felt really bad because I was just coming out of a crazy relationship where my girlfriend who promised to let me do the lord’s work on our wedding night because she was a virgin turned out to be a sham.
My experience has affected the way I see ladies and even emboldened my scum lifestyle.
Tumilara | Sex: Female
I’m not the kind of girl that gets attracted to anyone from the church but there was this guy, Ayo who I noticed. He wasn’t so fine but he had this swag. I had just suffered heartbreak and he was talking to me a lot, always coming to see me at school.
We entered a relationship and he was always gassing me up: “Where did you come from,” “You’re so good,” etcetera. Me too, my head will be swelling. Fast forward into the relationship, I was talking to a friend and I tried to flaunt my man but asked if I was mad for dating a man whose fiancé everyone knew. Who, besides, was a gigolo.
Days later, he posted her main girl’s picture on IG with a caption that doesn’t indicate that she was his woman so I couldn’t really challenge him but as God would have it, one of his sisters commented “Happy birthday Iyawo wa” meaning his family even knew about her.
The next time I saw him, I asked if he was seeing her and he said the truth. They had been dating for three years. Evidently I’m the side chick here. When I asked why he didn’t tell me he had someone, He answered saying “you didn’t ask.”
The funniest part is when he was trying to convince me to continue the relationship with him saying there wouldn’t be issues since I was in Lagos and the other girl lived in Ibadan. Me, I left the relationship o even though I was feeling sad and stuff. I was listening to a lot of songs to help me heal my heart. Now I don’t find it easy to enter relationships because I even have commitment issues but if I want to try, I must investigate if he is serious with anyone. I have to be sure they are not eating other people’s work.