#SafeZone: Social Anxiety Disorder and Being Special in Africa.

#SafeZone is a series discussing mental peculiarities we’ve ignored in the upbringing of kids all over Africa, shedding light on the topic to create a more mentally aware future. This article focuses on social anxiety disorder.

My nursery school teacher often complained to my parents about how I was inattentive in class, one-time mid-complaint, I gazed deeply into the ceiling fan as if to unravel its mystique, and that there was enough to affirm her arguments. For me, then, I thought something was definitely wrong with me and I didn’t deserve the right things anymore because my existence was wrong. I went through most of my life with that assertion until I found out I had SCT [sluggish cognitive tempo] and I learned to understand things I previously perceived about myself and use that knowledge as a form of empowerment.

Many African children grow up with certain peculiarities that elders seemed to find a way to blame them for and chastise without taking into consideration the evolutionary factors involved with mental disorders, most of it is genetically passed down so it’s simply stupid for parents to attack a child because she has trouble being normal. Some kids we went to school with always had the worst grades, even when it seemed like they tried, and it wasn’t because they weren’t smart, it was because they were dyslexic, and being scaled on a biased metric becomes a gateway to believing you’re worth less than everyone and susceptibility to the development of more dormant mental conditions. Much like with everything else, white people discovered and named mental disorders but they have been in existence since time immemorial. Saying mental disorders isn’t a black people thing is foolish, to say the least. These are afflictions suffered by humans, regardless of race.

I’ll be discussing social anxiety disorder [SAD] in this article.

Through bashfulness, suspicion, and timorousness, will not be seen abroad; loves darkness as life and cannot endure the light or to sit in lightsome places; his hat still in his eyes, he will neither see, nor be seen by his good will. He dare not come in company for fear he should be misused, disgraced, overshoot himself in gesture or speeches, or be sick; he thinks every man observes him. – Hippocrates 400 B.C.

‘Social anxiety disorder is an anxiety disorder characterized by a significant amount of fear in one or more social situations, causing considerable distress and impaired ability to function in at least some parts of daily life. These fears can be triggered by perceived or actual scrutiny from others.

Physical symptoms often include excessive blushing, excess sweating, trembling, palpitations, and nausea. Stammering may be present, along with rapid speech. Panic attacks can also occur under intense fear and discomfort. Some sufferers may use alcohol or other drugs to reduce fears and inhibitions at social events. It is common for sufferers of social phobia to self-medicate in this fashion, especially if they are undiagnosed, untreated or both.’

In our society, when you show these symptoms you’re instantly branded as a snob. Society wants you to be something you’re not, and refuse to understand that you shy away as a method of survival rather than exclusion.

To peers, you’re proud and conceited, when in actuality, you’re just trying to live without being humiliated, so you shut out the whole thing regardless, but still feel anxiety while you try to act like the situation doesn’t exist. At some point, the anxiety becomes self-propagating and before you know it, you’re in a metaphorical inception of anxiety.

The school system doesn’t account for apples that don’t fall near the tree, intelligent kids suffering from social anxiety are shamed for not being able to stand up in a class full of people to answer questions and that humiliation morphs into not answering questions at all, inactivity and disinterest in school activities. This is how we lose gems.

Our parents thought that if they believed in God enough, their children will not be subject to any form of affliction, they would say things like ‘God cannot allow it to happen to my children’, or ‘You’re too young to be depressed’. Statements like these, coming from people you trust and love really fucks with your mind and makes you doubt your cognitive abilities even more. In relation to mental health, we cannot be like our parents, we need to do more for our kids so that future generations can thrive, it will be selfish to not take into deep consideration the overall mental well-being of our descendants.

Special kids often experience comorbidity, which makes it difficult to be certain of your full condition because it feels like you’re extra since you exhibit symptoms of multiple disorders and that you’re just reading too much into those Wikipedia pages. There’s a tough psychological battle between refusing and accepting the presence of these ailments within you. There is a great deal of empowerment one gets from knowing what makes him tick.

‘SAD’ is more than just severe shyness. It is a real medical condition that has been linked to abnormalities in brain chemistry and dysfunctional thinking patterns.’

‘A person with social anxiety disorder knows that his or her fears are irrational but, nevertheless, is unable to control them.’

Dealing with SAD.

Cognitive behavioral therapy is the most recognized form of treatment for mental disorders.

One way to manage your anxiety is to slowly build your confidence through engaging in more fearful situations in an ascending order, basically, work your way to the top, from asking a stranger for the time or giving someone a genuine compliment to hosting a party in your home.

Helping people with Social Anxiety Disorder.

Learn about the disorder, if someone close to you is experiencing Social Anxiety Disorder, do a google search and click a few links about it. The little effort will go a long way. And be patient, don’t be judgmental or overly emotional to this person’s SAD induced reactions. Focus on their feelings, not yours because it is not a rational disorder and be there to remind them that the feeling will pass.

Do not ask ‘Why are you anxious?’. A person with Social Anxiety Disorder does not have a logical reason why she is anxious and this only highlights how clueless she is and makes her more anxious. And don’t play the blame game either, it only makes things worse; accept that the disorder is the result of biological and psychological factors that are out of everyone’s control, and don’t be a dick.

Finally, listen more to those around you with intent to digest, as opposed to intent to respond, you will learn a lot when you’re not focused on talking back.

A word for the new age and mental health.

Search for the knowledge to recognize the things you’ve always noticed but had never been able to explain and empower yourself with it.

I believe the overarching anxiety comes as a result of past collective trauma and in the grand scheme of things, we are not a secure continent and the anxiety is heightened to keep us safe, we must secure our future as a continent with a strong foothold in the world so that we can protect our kids in the mental health department whichever way we can.